"I think the only protocol is that it ends in a happy marriage!"
Thanks so much for everyone who weighed in on my proposal protocol post. This is really a pretty remarkable community.
And it seems as if so many of us are in agreement on one thing:
When it comes to love, there are no rules… just do your thing!
Here are a few of the comments that hit home with me. [I added my thoughts after linking to a few of the authors]
"I think the only protocol is that it ends in a happy marriage!" -cupofchi
"Maybe a bonus upside of gay marriage is that it dilutes the straight engagement protocol?" - katiepiemiscellany[I couldn’t agree more and I find this incredibly exciting!]
"i hated how proposals seemed so one-sided. my fiance & i created a lego stop-motion animation movie together to tell our friends that we were getting married!" -3rdcoastfieldnotes[So creative! Please share your video Check out her video here!]
“I would think whoever wants to do the formal asking should, in any relationship.” -melissawrites
"[Who should propose first?] the first one to get down on one knee!" - hebaucompair
"I would LOVE to be the one to get down on a knee and propose to my lover-boy (wherever he is) - t’ heck with norms! do what you feel!" -lynneharris
“Things have shifted in hetero relationships, w/ women empowering themselves to be the asker. I’d say the person who feels compelled to seize the moment when the time is right. Or discuss it. If one feels strongly about it, you have your answer.” -stylishwhitefemale
“From what I have heard from a few gay friends, each partners proposes at their own time, with each presenting a ring. A little unorthodox, I know, but I actually think it is very sweet and beautiful that each person can plan a special proposal and pick out a ring, yet also experience the wonderful moment of being proposed to.” -Kelly Q [What a beautiful idea…for any couple!]
This conversation makes me happy. You have great readers, Emily!” -relovingit [me too! I do!]
Last week at dinner with my bro-in-law Andrew, we got to discussing the passing of Gay Marriage in New York. (Wohoo!)
Andrew lives in Manhattan and has been in a committed relationship with his partner for 8 years. He mentioned that he had never given marriage much thought until it became a possibility for them. He said that now that he COULD get married, there has been a sort of spotlight shined on his relationship. And all of a sudden Inquiring minds want to know..
will you? do you want to? have you discussed it?
My question for him (after asking all of the above, of course) was: which one of you will pop the question?
His response: “I don’t know! This is pretty much uncharted territory for us.”
In a hetero relationship, traditionally speaking it is the man who proposes. And so, we wondered…is there proposal protocol in a gay relationship?
Any rules of thumb we could think of were so arbitrary…and dumb. (The older one proposes or the one who makes more money or the one not doing the wedding planning).
It seemed to us that we are part of an exciting time. The game is changing and our old rules no longer make much sense.
But I wanted to take it to a larger audience. And so I ask you:
What do you think…is there even a need for proposal protocol anymore?
Now, I admit…I am one of those people who likes to inspect my pores (do you like how I put that so delicately) and peel stuff off my face (remember biore strips? Heaven!), so the idea of a mask that turned into peel-able rubber was right up my ally!
There is a little prep work involved which really just made the whole thing seem more legit. But it wasn’t hard or anything…you just open a packet. Add water. Mix with the enclosed spatula. Apply.
Wait 15 minutes.
Then let the fun begin!
The mask really did turn to rubber and while it didn’t come off in sheets like I had envisioned, half the fun was lifting the elastic patches from my face.
From what I can tell, this left my skin all glowy-glowy. Or at the very least, refreshed.
I really loved this product. So much so, I am considering sharing one of the packets with my sis. They come 6 in a box.
Then again, maybe I will just save them for myself and my next spa-night in (but Ellie, you are invited to join me anytime. Deal?)
“I was back home in Los Angeles and we wanted to put a gate up in our yard. The fella came over and said, “Mr. Chandler, how do you want me to build this?” I said, “I’m not going to tell you how to build this gate. You just look around at what’s here, and you build the best gate you can. Be as creative as you want. Take your time, and just give me a good gate.” That gate’s probably going to stand for 400 years.”—